February 19th was my four year anniversary for getting my sleeve. I missed it because I was experiencing one of the most distressing events of my life. Well, let's say it's in the Top 8 of most distressing. That sounds so dramatic! Well, it was to me. I know it's not that big compared to what's going on the world, but I can't get a grasp on any perspective right now.
Long story short: I was walking a dog for my neighbor so she could go see her uncle, and one of the neighborhood kids got bit.
In the end it's all been worked out. It was a very superficial wound. The kid's parents are being reimbursed by my neighbor's insurance. There were no police involved. The neighborhood is secretly on my side because they know the kid is a monster and they've all had dealings with him. The kid's mom has told me everything is fine.
It's over. Everything is okay.
But I still feel very upset. There are so many things I wish I would've done differently, especially how it was handled afterwards. I keep obsessing about it. I can't sleep. I keep replaying it over in my mind. I have this horrible headache that won't go away. I don't want to leave the house. I feel like I failed the dog. Even though I want to kill the kid, I feel terrible that I didn't keep him safe. I keep crying. I don't want to walk dogs anymore, not even my own. My sister has had to walk our dog, and I feel ridiculous and useless.
I guess the one good thing is I lost my appetite. I never knew what that meant before! I hadn't eaten in a day in a half, so it was real, physical hunger, but my head was like, "I can't eat right now." That's never happened before. I didn't drink much either... maybe that explains my headache.
I know I need to crawl out of this.
First weigh in on my new scale tomorrow.
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