Wednesday, February 6, 2013

dun dun dun

AAAHHHH!  There was a voicemail from the surgeon's office wanting to set up my surgery date!  I'm blogging instead of calling them back.

So much to think about.  I'm sure they aren't really going to plan their lives around me, but I think I want to do this after my TOM, or as I refer to it, the dot.  But that's like three weeks away. 

Then I wonder if I should wait until I'm on break from school, which isn't until March 21.  I'm having such a hard time in school right now.  I'm in court reporting school, which isn't like normal school.  I already went to college, a really good, famous, competitive east coast college and that was freaking CAKE compared to court reporting school.  I was kind of thinking in my head that even on the day of surgery I could get my four hours of practice in at the hospital, because I can't afford to take any days off.  But, that's probably not realistic.  But if my surgery is going to be at the end of the quarter, I might as well wait until the quarter is over, rather than just blow the whole quarter in the last weeks.

Ugh.  Priorities.  What is my priority?  This surgery, which I've planned my whole life around.  I switched to online classes because I knew I'd be getting surgery this winter.  Or, school.  I've been training to be a court reporter for the last three years and it's so hard, and I want to quit every day, but I love it also, and I don't want to do any backsliding.  And it's sad to think that four days to a week off for recovery could make me backslide and blow a whole quarter of hard work, blood, sweat, and tears, but that's how it is for me.  On the other hand, repeating a quarter isn't the end of the world.  This is a marathon, not a race.  The longest, most grueling, exhausting marathon ever, but nothing worth it is ever easy.

Okay.  Enough drama.  I'm going to call the surgeon back now.  Going forward full speed ahead!  No more wasting time!  No looking back, or second guessing.

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