Today was my final pre-op appointment with the surgeon. I've been really busy with school, not thinking about surgery, not worried about it at all, and then he started going through how they put needles in my hand and sedatives for anesthesia and things down my throat, and I unexpectedly burst into tears. I just felt so bad for abusing and hating my body so bad for all these years and now I'm voluntarily going to let someone cut into my perfectly unscarred belly and take half my stomach and stick something down my throat while I'm unconscious. Ugh. I'm so sorry, body. I'm going to treat you like gold from now on.
Also. I'm trying to be really positive about everything, but after rescheduling my appointment from 4 to 1, they had me sitting in the waiting room for an hour and fifteen minutes. And the unprofessional receptionist was there, bad mothing a patient she had on the phone to one of the nurses. And, I asked one of the nurses about feminine products during surgery, since I will very unfortunately be on the dot, and she was very unhelpful and embarrassed me by practically shouting tampon several times in a very small office with a waiting room full of people just a few feet away. I guess I could've asked the doctor, but I didn't, and I still don't have the answer to my question. That was just today. Every time I deal with them there is something I find so blatantly unprofessional, but whatever. As long as I come out of this surgery alive, complication free, and minimally scarred, none of the rest should matter.
Tomorrow are my pre-op tests. I'm pretty sure I start fasting at 8 tonight... but I can't find my notebook and I'm just praying that I'm right about it being a 12 hour fast and not 24 hours. Here's hoping I don't puke up the barium for upper GI.
In awesome news, I bought a full length mirror to track my progress!
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